Sibling rivalry will always occur in a household of more than one child whether through comparison, fighting, jealousy, or by other means. Parents and children both contribute to the rivalry. It will occur on a daily, weekly, and even an hourly basis. Sibling rivalry may become difficult and annoying to parents, but they must deal with it day after day. In definition, sibling rivalry is when one sibling or more compete with one another or try to follow each other. Rivalry is different from fighting. It appears when children compete for their parents love and attention.
Sibling relationships can be a key to rivalry. An intense relationship includes love and hate, play and fight, and the teasing and mocking of each other. There are some questions on why certain siblings get along harmoniously and affectionately, while there are others that constantly fight. Siblings usually have a very harsh relationship when they are young. As they mature, they become better friends and start getting into fewer and fewer fights .Brothers and sisters sometimes work together to get through jams. Siblings occasionally team up to trick or get back at a parent in revenge. Aggression is very frequent in sibling relationships.
It is usually the older child being aggressive to the younger one, but the younger child may become increasingly aggressive as he/she grows. In one Canadian study, a family where the mother is very friendly to the second born at the eight month stage, the two children were very opposed to each other six months later. There are many siblings that take their aggression to the extremes and others who travel through phases of rivalry, then end in a close, loving relationship. Plus, not all rivalry is negative.
Sibling rivalry has many causes that both parents and children can bring about. Parents create rivalry problems by comparison and favoritism. They have to see their kids as separate individuals, and not compare them. The parents have to make sure that comparisons do not lead to them buying one thing for a child’s need, and then buying the same item for the other child even though he does not need it. There are certain types of comparison: positive and pressure. Positive comments can start problems between siblings. When a parent compares two siblings, it puts pressure in sports, school, and any other aspects of life on the younger child. Parents inadvertently play favorites with their children. The favorite child may not always be the cutest, smartest, kindest, or most thoughtful. It is natural to feel a preference to one child, and those feelings are probably obvious to the rest of the family. It is not humanly possible for a parent to love each child the same. Even if one of the parents has a favored one, they must not show it.
There are some techniques on how to deal with sibling rivalry. A family meeting is a good way to discuss problems. When you call a meeting, the parent must explain the purpose of the meeting. Write down what each child feels and read it aloud to both children. Allow each child time for a response. Then let everyone in the family suggest as many solutions as they can think of. Lastly, decide on the solutions that your family can handle. There are some other techniques to prevent rivalry between siblings. The parent should always send the instigator to his respective room. Holler at the older one and tell him to act mature because he should be an exemplary for the younger sib. Do not raise a hand to the children no matter how angry and annoyed the parent becomes.
Sibling rivalry is a big problem in homes all across Philippines and the rest of the world. It occurs day and night and is very difficult to deal with. Parents must be strong and willing to tackle this rivalry before they have children, and they must be mature enough to handle it. Parents and families are guaranteed to experience some form of sibling rivalry, so they had better be prepared.
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